Posts by negative creep.

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  • i'm a negative creep !!

    and i'm stoned


    haha jk not really. c: i'm just your resident nirvana freak, hence the title and crossed out words.
    anyways, hey everyone! i was referred to this site and i think i'm gonna give it a shot.


    i'm a high schooler in love with all different types of music and being completely reckless and rebellious. don't look to me for a role model kiddos. (/_\) i'm looking to get back into the swing of roleplaying again since it's winter and i can't really do much and i'm bored to death. hmu if you want to roleplay! i'm mostly open to human roleplays right now, but i'll consider cat ones maybe, if i can find the time to look through each clan's guides and sh.it.


    or you can just hmu to talk! i love talking and making new friends. i promise i'm nice. <3


    love,
    negative creep.

  • ʷᵉ ʷᵃᶰᵗ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʳᵒᶜᵏ ᶰ ʳᵒᶫᶫ ˢᵒᵘᶰᵈ [ᵖᶫᵒᵗᵗᶦᶰᵍ]

    great! well, i was thinking maybe the band broke up and everyone lost contact with each other. mikey and ray were off doing their own things (and bob too because i still want bob a part of mcr goddammit) and so was frank, but mcr's breakup hit hard. really, really hard. he threw himself into new music but he was sleeping around and smoking and drinking all the time, and generally just wasn't in a good space.


    a few years or so pass, and frank just says 'f.uck this' and seeks out gerard's house. he finds gerard to be in even worse shape than him. completely abandoning society and not even working on art, he just does drugs and pops pills and drinks his life away. frank and him get into a huge fight over mcr's breakup being a mistake (i was imagining this as a really pivotal point in the relationship between the two, since they haven't really had any contact in all the years since the breakup) but eventually gerard agrees to start the band back up again. basically, they go on a comeback tour and it's really rocky between them all (especially gee and frankie) to try and form those close bonds again and for gee and frankie to help each other get over their demons while being constantly bombarded by the press and sh.it and having to keep a straight face for the media and also falling in love. duh.


    i know that was a little long-winded but it's what i have in mind. (/_\)

  • baby come home | plotting

    yeah that's what i was thinking. messing around with a time before voldemort was powerful and anyone knew who harry potter was. i actually have an au idea that takes place in modern times that has voldemort and harry never existing, but instead a new threat that poises harm to wizards and vampires and a bunch of other species? it was originally a teacher x student rp the last time i played it out, but since not many people seem to be comfortable with that here, i can totally change it to student x student if you would prefer that. it's no hassle. c:

  • anyone wanna plot a new kind of roleplay with me?


    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 300px; text-align: justify; font-family: trebuchet ms; color: black; font-size: 10px;]☠ so i've been on another site recently and i came across a style of roleplaying that sounds really interesting and i really wanna try it out. it's called 'snapshot' roleplaying.


    the basic gist of it is that we each figure out a series of prompts. we then roleplay out those prompts with our own sets of canon and/or oc characters. we can set a certain amount of time to roleplay each prompt (such as let's roleplay the prompt "left behind" for five pages before we switch to the next one) or we can just roleplay that prompt out until we get tired of it. it doesn't matter to me. c: i was also planning on using either canon characters from a show/book/video game/whatever or our own oc's. depending on your preference, we can either use a whole host of different canon characters and oc's, just a host of different canon character or just a host of different oc's, or we can stick with one canon pair or one oc pair for all the prompts. again, that doesn't matter to me. (:


    ↳guidelines,
    1 ) i can write upwards of 350+ words unless we're in a dialogue-heavy scene. i don't care how much you reply with as long as it's at least a decent-sized paragraph and you give me something to reply off of. do not feel pressured to match me if you don't feel like it.
    2 ) there are pretty prevalent themes of intimacy, violence, self-harm/depression, swearing, psychological disturbance, and the like in my threads. it'd be very wise to be ok with that as it gives more creative expression with all the different prompt ideas. i also do not mind incest or very large age gaps.
    3 ) i roleplay all gender pairings with a preference for mxm and fxf. please don't let that scare you away if you want a hetero pairing, though. <3
    4 ) HELP ME PLOT. PLEASE. don't make me plot out all these all by myself.


    *if you want to use oc's and not use canon characters, ignore the below list unless you want to check it out anyway!
    ↳canons,
    1 ) harry potter.
    --literally any canon pairing you can think of besides anything founder era. give me the odd pairings like zacharias smith and blaise zabini, or give me dramione, or snarry, or whatever the hell you want.
    2 ) the last of us.
    --looking for joel x ellie or ellie x riley. PLEASE.
    3 ) kingdom hearts.
    --please. just please. literally any canon pairing ever. i just want a kh roleplay so bad hng. ;-;
    4 ) marvel.
    -- i've only watched the avengers so if you plan on centering any prompt around any canon marvel movie, i'm going to be pretty rusty. but i would love a thorki, frostiron, steve x tony, or any pairing with bruce or loki in it really.
    5 ) black butler.
    --looking mainly for a sebastian x ciel or an alois x ciel. haven't watched the second season.
    6 ) avatar: the last airbender.
    --pretty open for mostly anything here, but i'm itching to play either zuko or katara right now. so bonus points and my eternal love if you suggest a pairing where i can play either of those two. c:
    7 ) ouran high school host club.
    --hikaru x kaoru. PLEASE. or anything where i can play kyouya works too.
    8 ) disney/pixar movies.
    --way too many pairings to list but i am SO OPEN TO THIS RN. even if it's the lion king or any movies with animals or talking inanimate objects like in beauty and the beast. literally anything. go wild!
    9 ) naruto.
    --mainly looking for sasunaru on this one, but i am open to other pairings.
    10 ) vampire knight.
    --kaname x zero PLEASE. or takuma x senri, aido x kaname, aido x zero, akatsuki x aido, zero x ichiru.
    11 ) actors/actresses.
    --i am DYING to play either chloe grace moretz or tom hiddleston right now. it would be a dream to put either of them up against another actor/actress, another character from a series, or ugh ANYTHING.
    12 ) bands.
    --any mix and mash up of pairings from bands like mcr, bvb, atl, ptv, sws, etc. especially looking for frerard or any pairing where i can play andy biersack.
    13 ) supernatural.
    --only really destiel or wincest at this point. not too familiar with the show, but willing to give it a shot if you want to center prompts around the actual show.
    14) youtubers.
    --i'm only looking for phan, onision x shane dawson, or any where i could play either onision or shane. really really craving right now.


    please pm me or post below if interested! make SURE to let me know if your ok with more mature topics and what i should and shouldn't tone down on. thank you! <3

  • Im done.


    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 300px; text-align: justify; font-family: trebuchet ms; color: black; font-size: 10px;]☠ i seriously understand how you feel asa i really do. ;-; school sucks so much. it seems you have so much work just piled on you to the point where you're drowning way past your eyeballs in it and there's no way to catch up and it stresses me out to the point i wanna just cry.


    what i would do is prioritize. any assignments that are due the next day, make sure you get them done first. i, personally, think it works best if you get the harder assignments done first, and then do the easier/more fun assignments later so you aren't so stressed out later into the night and you can relax better. it might also be an incentive to get the harder assignment done first because you know something easier comes next. if you have any projects that are due at a later date, don't force yourself to get a huge chunk of it done in one day. space it out and plan to do a bit of it each day. i know that's probably a really common answer, but it really does wonders to just get organized. there's a reason it's a common answer. (: if you have any group projects you're doing with other people, make sure you're not being saddled with all the work. divide the work up evenly between you guys.


    it really does help to get some sleep, too. i know sleep schedules are completely out of whack due to school and other activities (hell i have insomnia so sleep is a wonderful treasure) but getting a full night's rest really helps you to wake up feeling more motivated and energized besides going to bed at midnight and having to get up at 6. it also helps to eat healthy too. try and not get into lots of drama at school or participate in anything that's high-stress, because that's not gonna help you at all either. ;-;


    if you have a study hall period or can stay after school, use that time to your advantage! get as much work done as you can instead of goofing off with friends. if you need help from a teacher, get it. i try to get help and clarification as much as possible because it takes so much stress off my back actually knowing what i'm doing with an assignment. teachers really are there to help (even though some of them can be jerks like my geometry teacher .-. i feel ya on that one). if all else fails, you can always call or text a friend to try and help you with an assignment. it may be easier to talk to them and get help rather than go to a teacher.


    finally, always try and find time for yourself. (: don't mash up your whole entire evening with school work or it's gonna bog you down so bad to the point you just break. always set aside at least an hour or so to just chill out and go on the internet, read, watch tv, call friends, whatever relaxes you. taking frequent 5 minute breaks between study sessions and homework-punching really helps too. grab an apple and stretch or go out and talk to your parents for a few minutes to try and clear your mind.


    i really hope i helped in some way. <3 because ugh schoolwork just sucks really. ;-;

  • Im done.


    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 300px; text-align: justify; font-family: trebuchet ms; color: black; font-size: 10px;]☠ i'm happy i managed to help you! (: feel free to pm me if you ever need any help, ok?

  • why does this happen


    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 300px; text-align: justify; font-family: trebuchet ms; color: black; font-size: 10px;]☠ that really is horrible impy...it's even more horrible when it's someone you have genuine feelings for, as well. ;-; now, i don't exactly know what's going on in your current best friend's life right now to make her so sad and suicidal, but maybe her moving away is a good thing? at this point, maybe it's best for her to move away and start a clean slate and try and solve all her issues. if she's not already, i urge you to convince her to get help. someone with that serious of a problem needs professional help. when i got that bad, i went to confessional rehabilitation and it really does help. it'd be better than watching her suffer through this and maybe even slip up and actually kill herself in the future...i wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing i never tried to get her help.


    as for dealing with her move, just try and think of it as being positive for her; starting a new life somewhere else. and it doesn't mean you have to lose contact with her, either. call and text as much as possible, and let her know that you'll always be her best friend and you'll always be there to lean on when she needs help. it's going to be really hard at first...it was when my best friend moved away. who knows, maybe you'll be able to go see her over the summer or sometime along the way if she does move? (:

  • Not great


    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 300px; text-align: justify; font-family: trebuchet ms; color: black; font-size: 10px;]☠ i truly believe everyone goes through this at one point in their life. maybe not to such an extent, but some form of it. i've gone through low self-esteem like this before, and i still go through it a lot of the time now. it really sucks, but there are ways to help boost self-confidence.


    first of all, i want you to really think about your friends. are they really only 'pretending' to like you, or are you just forcing yourself to think that way? brains can get really warped by low self-esteem and twist everything negatively. try and think about it calmly and rationally, without letting any sort of bias get in the way. if they really are ignoring you the majority of the time and their attempts at hanging out with you or talking with you seem half-assed, then they aren't being true friends and it would be wise to distance yourself from them. i'm not saying cut them off completely, but they're not going to help you feel any better or feel more confident with yourself.


    then again, if you aren't putting forth any effort to try and communicate and talk with people, that can be pushing people away too. even your friends. if you're really quiet and unresponsive to conversation, people tend to think you're uninterested in them and will stop trying as hard. i would suggest trying to force yourself to open up more, talk more, laugh more. if you don't push yourself, you'll never get better in anything, including communication. i know it's hard, trust me, i do. ;-; i used to be so quiet and shy and i threw up all over a couple girls' shoes when i tried talking to them my first day of freshman year. but i kept on pushing myself, and after a while, it truly does get easier to talk to people and open up more. just like anything else in life, it takes work and effort to change. you would be amazed how much people will respond to someone being open and talkative, and how much they'll be open and talkative in return. in the end, i promise this will help boost your self-confidence because it did mine. (:


    and finally, please don't think your a waste of life. you're not. you're an absolutely wonderful person who's just going through a tough time right now and feeling really sh.itty. that doesn't mean your a waste of anything. try and look in the mirrow every day and point out something you like about yourself. your hair frames you face really nicely today, or 'wow i did my makeup just right (if you choose to wear makeup) or 'hey i look pretty nice in this shirt'. trying to make yourself look nice is a good way to try and boost self-confidence, because it makes you feel better walking out the door for the day feeling good and dressed up a little bit rather than leaving the house in a hoodie and sweats. i think it'd also be good for you to just get your mind off of things every once in a while and try to not stress so much about having low self-esteem. take some time to yourself every day to just think, or listen to music, or read, or whatever else relaxes you. calming down and clearing your thoughts work wonders.


    i really hope i helped in some small way, because dealing with low self-confidence sucks and sucks a lot of joy out of life. i just really hope you get out of this slump soon and find something that works for you. <3

  • i'm so terrifyingly stupid rant


    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 300px; text-align: justify; font-family: trebuchet ms; color: black; font-size: 10px;]☠ holy crap that is something. o-o i honestly have no idea what i would do if i was in your situation. if i had to classify my sexuality it would be pansexual, but i've never been in a situation like yours. my only advice for you is to try to distance yourself romantically from them. if you can be, try and be less affectionate around them, since affection is what forms righter bonds and emotions. you said all the girls were straight and, from what i'm guessing, monogamous so having those feelings for all those girls is only going to hurt you because they won't return them. i'm not saying stop being friends with them, not at all! but trying to distance yourself a little bit to sort out these feelings and clear your head is your best bet right now, i would think. :c sorry if i wasn't much help...i've just never been in a situation like yours before and i can only go off of what i would do if i was. .-.

  • my situation


    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 300px; text-align: justify; font-family: trebuchet ms; color: black; font-size: 10px;]☠ hey welsh! first off, i wanted to say i'm actually pretty happy for you for discovering these things about yourself and coming to terms with them, from what i can see. that takes a lot of guts to do. (:


    as for your sexuality, i think it's pretty simple on that one. you say this person'a a good friend of yours, so if they're really a good friend, they should respect you if you walk up to them and say nicely but firmly something along the lines of 'look i know you're just teasing me but i am what i am and your teasing is really starting to annoy me so could you please stop?' be serious, but not harsh, about it. if they still don't respect your wishes and back off, i would cut ties with that person because they don't seem like someone you need to have in your life because they'd just be adding more stress and annoyance to it.


    as for your gender, i'm not too experienced with anything gender-related, as i've always identified as cis female and never had many trans, gender-fluid, non-binary, etc friends or acquaintances in my life. i think the confusion between not wanting to have a gender or being transgender might be something that will pass with time? i don't know how new all of these discoveries are to you, but if they're fairly recent, give some more time to cool down about discovering all these new things about yourself because honestly your gender decisions and discoveries are a really big deal. as for recoiling every time you hear your birth name or original pronouns, unless you want to come out (which comes with a whole new host of problems) i think that's just something you'll have to deal with until you can get out of the area and start a clean slate and be a new you. something that might help is trying to get your family and friends to call you by a nickname that sounds more like your preferred gender, but i don't know if that will help considering you sometimes feel as if you don't have a gender. i apologize for not being much help in this aspect. :c


    as for your physical problems, i really think you should go to a doctor or at least talk to your parents about the insomnia. i have insomnia as well, and there are ways to help with it. as for emetophobia, i am not experienced with it, so i don't know if the urge to vomit was because of the phobia or maybe because something was wrong. it won't hurt to get checked out as well. therapy might something to look into to try and lessen the fear of the phobia if you're up for it.


    now for the failing biology, you have to think about what's more important. finishing the class you failed or going to anthrocon? it's all up to you, that's your own personal decision. if anything, you can try and get excused for it but i don't know how lenient the people would be during summer school. you just have to decide what's really more important to you in the long run. and for english, don't be afraid to go to the teacher for help! try and get clarification and go over the things you're getting wrong or not doing right. try your best to make up missing assignments and redo them if you get bad grades. put as much effort as you can into trying to get better, or else you never will. if you really think you're good at english, then putting forth a little effort will pay off a lot because that's all you're going to need to get back on track. (:


    sorry for all the rambling...i tried to give as best advice as i could. i hope i helped in some way! (:

  • My mom died. [Death mention]


    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 300px; text-align: justify; font-family: trebuchet ms; color: black; font-size: 10px;]☠ i cried so hard reading this. i really really did and i'm still crying now. i saw this when i first clicked on the support center but i didn't actually click it because i didn't want to read it because my mom isn't doing so well right now. i'm not going to get into it on your thread, but it's cancer and we're not entirely sure if she's gonna make it or not yet and i just got up and went to my mom sitting in her chair sleeping and held her hand and cried and told her i loved her more then 100 times i swear even though she didn't wake up. she sleeps a lot more deeply then normal, now. she's been doing a bit better and i'm agnostic but i pray to whatever's out there that she'll be ok and she'll pull through this. no, i don't know what you feel like because i haven't actually lost her. but i have an inkling and i am truly sorry you lost such an amazing woman and i'm happy i read this because it opened my eyes even more then they already were to tragedy and how nothing ever lasts forever because anything can be taken away in a second. i'll remember your mother. i promise, ok?

  • Im done.


    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 300px; text-align: justify; font-family: trebuchet ms; color: black; font-size: 10px;]☠ you're welcome. (:

  • Wait, I'm confused...


    [fancypost borderwidth=0px; width: 300px; text-align: justify; font-family: trebuchet ms; color: black; font-size: 10px;]☠ it doesn't necessarily mean he's crushing on her if he goes to sit with her and offers her his food one time. if they're friends, that's a normal part of what friends do. however, if he goes to sit with her and hangs out with her more than his own girlfriend, then that's a completely different story. then there's a bit of a problem and you may want to talk to him about that. if it's not, though, then i think it'd be best to not read into it too much. it could cause a lot of unnecessary drama.